I feel the air around me swell with probabilities
My mind is on fire, so many different threads abound
The fear settles in for a night of longing and dread
Will I be able to speak as I have for nearly 30 years
Or will I be drowned with an inability to communicate
Sleep is a foreign land that I rarely get to visit
Or when I visit it becomes a land that is impossible to navigate
It becomes difficult to perceive what's really happening
It takes so much to even keep afloat that nothing seems easy
Regardless of knowledge of past victories...
I find myself wishing I had medication.
When all the little aches invade they add to the cacophony
They